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Discussion Starter #1
Paintballer thought it might add some entertainment. so here you go

broken5hift said:
Well where to begin, I guess the question “will this void my warranty” is a good place to start. YES. Ok good, now that that’s taken care of….. warranties are like those questions that can never be answered, “will this void my warranty” “does GOD exist” “what came first the chicken or the egg?” well, yes it will void your warranty, yes GOD exists,. And he created the chicken so you can say cock and mean a farm animal. Plus its always a great reminder that no matter how shitty your day is, at least your not shitting an object out your ass the size of your head. That’s always a plus. Poor chickens….. where was I…. cocks…cocks cocks cocks….oh right, dealerships. See none of you saw that coming you all thought I was just saying cocks for no reason but then boom, I tie it right in. if this were a basketball game id be screaming “AND 1” and throwing my hands up like I got a bug on my hands. I hate bugs.

So what is a warranty anyways? It’s a unicorn… you heard me, it’s a magical winged’d beast with a horn and magical powers. Mainly because on paper they both seem realistic enough. But once you realize you just bought a mule with a carrot on its head, or a piece of paper that says “SUCKER” on the back of it, you get the same feeling, the feeling of being screwed, really really hard. A lot of people just don’t understand the warranty. They hear the advertisement on the TV about how the car has “Americas #1 Warranty!” and they think “wow they must really stand behind their cars!” its about this time im strapping the carrot to Maurice the mule in hopes of passing him off as a unicorn to you…. Hes got magical powers!!!!! Theres been a lot of hype about how the manufacturers find out who you are before you even bring your car in to find out that your warranties already voided before you even ever needed any service. The internet? Well youd have to be stupid not to think signing up for autocrosses and drag events online or through other sites are untraceable, most of the time the manufacturer is the one sponsoring the event, we call this the fish in barrel technique. The warranty world is a very large money maker for the dealer, they get reimbursed for pretty much everything from manufacturers and also from the average joe that’s paying that $80 an hour labor rate. Ouch.

It still amazes me people buy the “entended warranty” I mean cmon……… I know crack is good, but did you really need to smoke it before you went to the dealership, look what happened, you just got punk’d. everytime someone buys an extended warranty ashton kutcher runs out from behind a wall and yells “YOU JUST GOT PUNKED! OMG IM SO GOOD! SOMEONE LOOK AT ME” and he’s right, not only is he good on the eyes but you’ve just been had. You can pretty much tell if your warranty is going to be voided with three simple questions.
1. do you ever go over 65 mph?
2. are you going to actually drive your car?
3. are you going to do “anything” to your car?
If you answered “yes” to any of them, your warranty has already been voided. Thanks for playing, I think we have a unicorn for you for the parting gift (I love that unicorn analogy). Dealerships say they look for “tell tale signs” of use and abuse. Were you racing? Well we can tell if you have oil or trans fluid lining you your cars internals… WHO THE FUCK DOESN’T HAVE SOMETHING LEAKING SOMEWHERE?! Id love to ask them how the fuck they expect to sell me a car that will not show any signs of use or aging., cause I will trade my car in right now for a car that’s gonna go 10 years with perfect seals and show no stress on its parts even if I drive it like that old lady with the white afro hair, with the three inch thick glasses and inability to see over the horn. This is what I was talking about with the whole magical warranty thing. Whether or not you think you fit the profile, you do. You’re a racer who abuses your ride. And when you go to the dealer they slap you with a name badge that says that, and then they point you to the crying corner, cause all your gonna be doing after your lemons trans blow and your warranty is denied because there was some residue on your trans plate is cry like a mother fucker. Maybe throw a hissy fit, depending on how much you feel like putting into the whole thing….. so, back to the whole “America’s #1 warranty!” thing, you want a warranty? Get a good mechanic. That’s a warranty. Know your car and how to take care of it, that a warranty. Be ready to accept the consequences of your actions. If you want a race car you gotta keep it running like one cause you cant treat a car like a daily driver but race it like your in indy. Somethings gonna go quick, and its usually the cash from your wallet. But if your smart you cut your loses on the warranty, bought the car, prayed it wouldn’t be a lemon, and just enjoyed it through all its up and downs. Now, if you don’t mind, I have to go try and figure out why my BOV is a piece of shit….

-Broken
 

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Discussion Starter #2
Why the internet is so gay

broken5hift said:
of course the obvious reason is because people can say anything on the internet and not have to worry about getting punched for it. you cant see the person, you dont know the person, its the perfect "im pathetic but you will never know" place to be. strangely, the least liked people in real life always seem to be the most liked people on the e-net. i can only hope that i am an exception to that rule :shock: Regardless, even though i have just answered my own question i still feel the need to exploit it like a fat chick who just lost all this weight going to spring break. im about to run train on e-net personnalities. all aboard.

First off, lets get online gaming in on this. online gaming is the mecha of people with no lives, being kings of other no life people. the more pathetic you are in real life the more respected you are online, especially with the name "kill3r p1mp" or "L33t Sh00ter". its as if urkel named himself vin diesel online. and people buy it. big time. So......... lets explore this more as we dive into one of my favorite online games "Halo 2". Now in H2 (Halo 2) when your close to someone you can hear them through your mic. so when your in a tight fight with someone you can hear everything their saying as if they were right there. the only reason i can figure the makers of the game would do this, is so they could piss their pants laughing. its almost like clockwork. someone on your team is in a heated gun fight and he gets killed and then boom, you hear "OH MY FUCKING GOD I OWNED YOU BITCH! YOUR MY BITCH!" come squeeling out of some 11 year old who's balls obviously havent dropped yet. this sends the dead player into a rage. this goes on all game till the end of the match when all players are in a group room and can hear each other. then its nothing but "FUCK YOU FAGGOT" "DIE BITCH" " YOUR A CHEATING FAGGOT BITCH" and so on. now, this is going on between 8-16 people. screaming, cursing, squeezing of the xbox controller. amazing. simply amazing. NOW, do you honestly think these kids would actually say this shit in real life? no. in real life they have inhalers and a rash. but online, they are porno stars with 12" dicks. then, a girl joins the game and a fucking AOL chatroom breaks out. "hey do you like sex. where are you from do you wanna have sex with me". and then the 300 pound girl says " yea i have sex alot, my friends say i look like jessica simpson".... right. but so goes the online world. of course there are also really cool people to play with online. like the xiles. they are like a group of normal people fighting to keep gayness out of their servers. it's a tough war. id rather spend my money on that then the war on drugs. finding a decent server is like finding a girl at a club without an STD. it's one in a million.
so i guess thats gonna conclude my gaming bit........... for now.

lets jump to the AOL chat rooms. i used to do that in highschool. i never got it. why are these people here and wtf is LOL. well, it was all down hill from that moment on. i think LOL is responsible for killing the evolution of humans. literally. even I do it. which pisses me off. the internet is like a second life for most people, the only problem is when they get too greedy and try and mix reality with their online life. like when your in e-love with sexychick69 that you met in a chat room and you decide to drive the 3 hours to meet her after a 6 month online relationship. then as you step out of your civic you notice the only resemblance the the picture she sent you was the holes are in the right spot. the only thing worse than this is the fact that she's thinking the same thing about you. fag. I've never known one internet relationship that actually worked. i never actually went on one or found anyone "over the internet" but i know people do it. it might be good for finding sex though....... i dunno, havent tried. now is online dating wrong? no. is finding someone online bad? not at all. is going into a "lets fuck 2night teh l33tnes" chat room and falling in love with a girl whos pics look strangely like a victoria secret ad wrong? YES FUCKTARD. save yourself the trouble. just take out your trusty sweat socks and call it a night.

i thought about getting into the online car forum world. but theres really no point. other than you will find the people mentioned above, owning every type of car made. so your pretty much gonna have a fun time on any forum you go to. but thats the internet, the best way to make 8-5 fly by.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
family........Dysfunction can be fun

broken5hift said:
Sure many of you know people with dysfunctional families, or maybe you yourself are part of one... if the second part is you, well that sucks. but what is a dysfunctional family really? is it a group of people who cannot communicate with each other, who's personnalities just do not match, who's ideals just will not waver.... or is it about wanting to bash someone over the head with a chair a few times. again, probably the second one. did you even notice they name these things with such depressing names? dysfunctional..... dys-like "OH SHIT YOU JUST GOT DISSED HOMEY" or "you suck" and then functional "working". so more or less, your family sucks at working (together), OH SHIT HOMEY......... they could of called it hipfunctional.... so at least the misery that is your family life could at least of "sounded" like it didnt suck. but no. instead its a straight kick to the balls and a tea bagging. wondeful. some people i know have a dysfunctional family, i myself have some dysfunctions with my fiancee's side, but all in all, dysfunction can lead to an interesting talk.

There are alot of "types" of dysfunctional families, some more extreme than others. Some you wouldnt want to talk about, others you wouldnt want to talk about but do anyways. Now at this point im not going to mention anyones specific family, instead im just gonna throw it all into a large ball of dysfunction, equal to that of a special olympics math test.

There may be nothing more frustrating than spending time with people you dont like, and who dont like you. awkward silence, stares, and almost preprogrammed conversations. for example lets say bob has to go with his woman to dinner with her parents, who are divorced. the dinner is for bobs womans brother (like a congradulations dinner). now.......... to add to this lets include bobs father in laws, father. oh and they are both deaf, but bobs father in law can hear alittle with two massive hearing aids that im sure interfere with radar used on planes. now, im not sure if you've ever been around deaf people, but they tend to make funny noises and not know it, mainly because they cannot hear themselves make the noises....... yes. ............ anyways. lets say they are at the table and after what seems like an hour of useless discusion over the appetizer, one is finally ordered. hooray. so lets skip ahead through the silence and nudging of silverware to pass the time. the appetizer arrives, its an artichoke dip thing. great. nothing like eating healthy in hell. so bobs womans sister takes the first bite and burns the roof of her mouth. she says how hot it is. the people who can hear, heard it. which leaves a slight problem that has yet to happen. so now the platter is passed around and someone notices the deaf grandfather loading the little piece of bread with the dip, and someone says "WATCH IT ITS HOT". well, being deaf can hinder alot of things, warnings being one of them. so now you have people trying to explain to bobs father in law that the dip is very hot and then relay the message to deaf grandpa. well sign language doesnt work when the person is stuffing their face with hot artichoke dip. now heres the second problem. deaf people make really funny noises. so before bobs father in law can show grandpa his magical finger act we call sign language, in goes the mountain of dip. keep in mind this is a guy around 80 yrs old. so in goes the dip and out comes this yelp that sounds like a 5 year old girl getting a needle at the doctors. "HOWAAAAAAAAAAA HOOOOOOOOOOOOOWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" exclaims grandpa, spewing out the dip " IZZA WAZZAA ZAZAZ EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" he continues, quite loudly i might add. so now the uncomfortable silence has been interrupted with this, which leads to bobs mother in law (who is still divorced to bobs father in law) laughing hysterically. bob knows better though, he knows he cannot laugh or bobs father in law will be furious. then out of no where "WEE OO WEE OO WEE OO" well........ bobs screwed. i dunno anyone that can handle an old man in a little girls voice going WEE OO WEE OO and trying to sign to someone why wasnt he warned. well, as bob tries to regain his breath he notices his father in law starring right at him (bob is the only non family member at the table) so he does what anyone would do.... shuts up and looks straight ahead. meanwhile bobs mother in law is slamming her hands on the table laughing her ass off at their humiliation, or that it was just funny, either way, the father in law didnt like it. well now dinners here and bobs in between a rock and a hard place. wee oo to this.

-Broken
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Ricers and forum trolling

broken5hift said:
okay dark grundle im doing the damn rant you wanted me too.

There are two things that spread on internet car sites as quickly as STD's spread at spring break, and those two things are Ricers, and trolls. sure you may think they are the same, and usually the two have very similar traits, but more importantly most spread from site to site like a virus, ruining good thoughts and logic. well here comes the enema for internet trolling. bend over bitches.

First off lets start with the ricers who have no clue about any actual performance of a car. looks are more important than whats inside, this is true for both your car life, and love life. Ricers are all about the image. They want their car to look as fast and sic as possible without actually being able to back it up. imagine having inflatable muscles or a prostetic ball sack, thats what a ricer is. so why do these side way hat wearing gang bangers do it? probably cause they have small junk. but aside from that most ricers dont know how to work on cars and are too poor to get someone else to do it. If you can't "stick" it on or get your mexican friend to rig it to work, then its not gonna happen. Most ricers seem to stick to less reputable stores for their ricey needs. you could go to pepboys and find an entire isle filled with neon glow parts, fake chrome exhaust tips, glue on air craft wings, and so on. nothing that would actually provide horsepower but the pretty colors are more than enough to swing the average ricer in to buying it. Some parts ricers put on cars arent ment to provide HP gains but do anyways by accident. like when you stick on an APC fart cannon and recieve a blistering +1hp gain the ricer will immediately hunt down the nearest cobra and rev until his blue 9 gauge wires melt. another favorite of the ricer is the sticker or vinyl. why? well because you stick it on. proving that yes, even the fucktard was able to do it. most stickers found on ricer cars dont even match their mods. like when they have a Nitto sticker but a still running on stock "road master" tires. or when they have AEM plastered all over the place but the have an APC intake, this is what they refer to as "close enough". this is when you buy something cheap and shitty and say it looks like the more expensive real part, its close enough, so it must be the same. no. cancer, get it, die. Aside from that most Ricers tend to be all talk, you can usually tell they are bluffing when they talk about their mods yet you can plainly see they dont have them. or in some cases like a few RSX owners you claim a bolt on and reflash cuts 2 seconds off your quarter mile time. sure. this is a good lead into forum trolling....... so lead on

A forum troll is more or less a ricer with an internet connection. there are two basic types of trolls. The my car is shit but if i keep yelling at you i will win troll, and the my car is modded therefor i am god, troll. let starts with the first type, the "my vagina has a first name" troll. these trolls are usually nothing but an annoyance to people, like all trolls are. they come into your site with absolutely nothing and just go on a ricer rampage of idiotic statements and false accusations. the normal ricer troll will be driving some slow car that has the performance of an 80 yr old man on viagra. now that i think of it, an 80 yr old man on viagra describes most of these little bastard cars pretty well. in both cases you have the basic ability to do something, go fast/have sex, however just because you got a gas pedal or a dick doesnt mean their gonna do a damn when you get down to it. anyways, so these ricers come to your site and they start preaching about their cars and how fast they are (even though they dont own it) and start talking shit about yours. well for one, if you dont own it, dont brag about it unless someone brings it up to you first. you dont own the worlds fastest civic, so stop telling me how fast it is. its one car that you will never own and none of your friends will ever have, so stfu. "i saw a honda run 9's DOES YOUR CAR RUN 9'S?! NO HA HONDA>*" ..................... NO TARD.
The other type of Troll is the "i put an intake and reflashed my PCM" i smoke vettes like i smoke pole, troll. good job homo. way to just embarrasse an entire car community. somewhere in asia theres a guy on these forums going "stupeed amerikan dey druin car fo world, intake and reflash is sthit, stupid amerkin ricka" yup. im with yashimoto. you guys need a friggin wake up call. i dont care what car you own you need to be reasonable with your mod to power ratio's. but this is why we have trolls. assuming a barely 200 whp car is going to take on a close to 300whp is on the verge of mental retardation. or as i like to call it, APC syndrome. These trolls offer no proof (becuase there is none) and then run around their cages like monkey throwing poo when you dont believe them. then its just all about how shitty your car is. if they know the car isnt fast then they say how well it turns, NO SHIT IT TURNS WELL YOUR GOING SO FUCKING SLOW YOU COULD GET OUT OF YOUR CAR DURING THE TURN AND BRISKLY WALK IN FRONT TO MAKE SURE ITS LINED UP CORRECTLY. so if they dont have turning they go for the interior. "my cup holders are wood grain" well i hope so cause your gonna need something to keep you busy for the 16 seconds down the track. and your car probably weighs enough to challenge a bathtub around the twisties. congrats. way to pay way too much for an interior. you should join the martha stewart racing team, queer eye.

i guess that enough for now.

-Broken
 

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Discussion Starter #7
eh, its alot, but i figure, what the hell

broken5hift said:
well before i leave for my 4 day weekend i decided its about time to post about the week as it has been one hell of a week thus far. Where to begin........ ah yes. i think i will begin with import owners.

I dunno wtf happens to a moron when they see an import but its some sort of a chemical reaction, like the kid touching the hot pan after you tell him not too these kids are chemically embalanced into loving these cars for reasons they dont even know. Its takes a sheer genious to try and argue how fast your car is with a slow timeslip. " Not only did i mod my car but im only running high 14's in the quarter mile" GREAT ARGUMENT. we are gonna send you over to Iraq so you can negotiate peace talks. It never ceases to amaze me the people that step out of these cars and the pure.......... i dont even know how to describe it, its like when they talk smart people start screaming grabbing their eyes and going into convulsions on the ground. People who know me, who know me well, know i love cars, whether its a 750 whp KB Cobra or a really well done pontiac sunfire i appreciate cars, all cars. but i am not stupid enough to pretend an RSX has a "nice interior". I own an RSX. it is not nice, it isnt anything but a fuel efficient beater car. When people say nice interiors i think of my friends S4 or my other friends audi 1.8T. those are nice interiors. NOT pantyhose stretched across some lame ass bare front dash. the car is not a performance vehicle. people think one bolt on and reflash make it a cobra killer. WRONG. Even the companies of these products clearly say "WHEN USED IN COMBINATION THESE PARTS CAN PRODUCE SIGNIFICANT POWER GAINS" which means, pay $1800 for 5 parts and you can get 10-15 hp. amazing. no wonder these kids hats are so far off to the side, with a whopping extra 15 hp the hat would blow off due to the sheer force of launches. I mean, the magazines literally show you price and hp gains when they do these mods. kids are paying close to 2 grand and getting.......... 15 HP! and they love it! you want an anti drug commercial. show some guy with a nice muscle car smokin up and then his son tootin around in a civic with a fart can. If i had seen that shit I'd have quit a long time ago.

Who's a fanboi? i love this statement. oh look its the dodge fanboi. uh........ sure. im glad we established im not ashamed of my car. not that i even mentioned it in anything. its like small penis syndrome. small penis syndrom is when another guy is larger than you so begin trying to mock him for it. "OH LOOK HOW MUCH BIGGER IT IS, WOOOOOOOOO. LIKE THAT MATTERS. ITS THE MOTION ON THE OCEAN, NOT THE SIZE" this is pretty much admitting the other person has something you dont and they are jealous because most sweatsocks just fall off. Another good example of it is when you go to an RSX forum and they start in with the "OH HERE COME THE SRT FANBOI'S!" yes, my penis is magnificent compared to yours. now stop crying. This is usually brought on when you make them face reality. like when you point out how they have no proof that a CAI and reflash can make their cars go 14 flat. and you make the jackass trying to prove you wrong look stupid, the fanboi chant comes out. i dont mind, i actually do alittle dance in my chair everytime i hear it. it sucks becuase no matter how you try and twist the ruler, or jam it into your groin, three inches is still three inches. and your cars are still weak sauce. the best competition you have is a toyota camry. congrats, i think theres a penis pump somewhere around here for you to use.

Sure some people have nice RSX-S's and some a quick, and some owners are cool. are the majority? no. do they care? no. should i? no. but it is annoying. ricers at times can be like herpes, showing up at the worst times. another thing that cracked me up was over on tristate tuners when someone was bitching about aftermarket HIDs. saying how if they didnt come on your car you shouldnt have them and its gay. well then take off your three inch piping crybaby. go back to your rubbermaid muffler and 2.25" exhaust piping and dont touch your car. idiots. that bothers me more than anything else. who are you to determine what is justifiable. you do so much to your car that was not intended for it yet when someone has something you dont its automatically gay. good job. way to stick your dick in your own ass tard. i'll see you on the road with my blinding HIDs as i ride your overly large and loud exhaust into the ground. enjoy your weekends.

-Broken
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Old people

broken5hift said:
well im sure this is a topic we can all relate too. Old people driving. just the thought of it makes me wanna put a cardboard cut out of the grim reaper in front of retirement homes so the old people are too scared to come out of their rooms. but unfortunitly, the damn social workers keep removing the cutouts. assholes. Sure its fun when you go there and you feel like your in the village of the living damned, whether it be the old man pooping his pants in the corner, or the old man with the 80 degree wheel chair so he's leaning back so far he cant get out, or maybe even when the old people chime in around dinner time about how to roast beef looks like their privates and how the mashpotatos look like they came from their privates. yes, the glory that is the nursing home.

Now some of you may wonder why i have a problem with old people driving. those of you who are thinking this are idiots. old people should not drive, if you cant order a pizza dont drive a car. I always find myself clenching the steering wheel, turning red, and on the verge of breaking through the glass and beating the old person with their own walker, as i watch them make a 15 minute U-turn that consists of them going forward three inches, then stopping, checking the mirrors and reversing three inches, stopping, checking the mirrors. and obviously they arent paying attention to the mirrors or they would see the line of cars stopped waiting for them to turn. at this point, probably to fine tune their concentration, they turn off the hearing aids........ brilliant. now blind and deaf the old person is more likily to avoid any accidents while continueing their three inch rampage of a U-turn. After they have finally turned the car enough where they feel they can make a clean get away you get the infamous "ok. im done" hand gesture. a quick showing of the palm to let you know "ive just wasted 15 minutes of your life. hows it feel fucker".

We all know old people are crazy. however i cant stop laughing whenever i see one of them driving with the priceless expression ---> :shock: the look of "am i having a heart attack or gas"

heres a standard day for an old person driving.
" :shock: ok, im doing 25 mph-JESUS WATCH OUT........ damn tree looked like it could of fallen on me. ok........ almost back home..... dont fall asleep yet......... :shock: stayin awaaaaaake :shock: staying awaaaaaaaake, i remember back in the war (drops to 10 mph) charlie was all over the place and all i had was a bullet to throw at the germans (HONK) JESUS (swerves) :shock: (back up to 25 mph) these god dammed hippies, always in a rush to smoke their weeds"

they honestly shouldnt be allowed to drive. if you cant keep from shitting your own pants you shouldnt be in control of anything more than one of those tonka power wheel things you get your 2 year old at toys r us. if old people drove those they would be going to perfect 5 mph speed for them and when they hit someone else it would just leaves a small bruise. then they could talk about it over some ovaltine.

-Broken
 

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Discussion Starter #9
if your still alive

broken5hift said:
well. I've decided to write a weekly rant post instead of waiting for people to ask me how my week is going, or how my day is, or what that smell is. im just gonna lay it out in here as it happens. and man, does it ever happen alot.

Well to start off, when i drive around im not the type that tries to race everyone in the free world, mainly cause my liscense says i suck at keeping points on it........... anyways, i decided to go to quiznos with the wife for lunch on sunday. so, im going to down i-95 and get off at langhorne, i make a quick left and go towards the shopping centers when i stop at a light and next to me is this kid in what looked like an 02 stock jetta. but wait, he had a $10 ractive exhaust *in awe* that he wants to rev at me like its building up power or something. the wife asks me if i hit an animal and i tell her the jetta next to me is revving it. she looks over and starts laughing as do i when i notice the kids girlfriend with her hands over her face in embarrassement. i felt her pain. now keep in mind this stretch of road is nothing but short lights and heavy traffic, so im not quite sure what he is trying to do. there are always two cops on the road, either in the gas station parking lot, the dunkin donuts, or the great american dinner. so the light turns green and sure enough, the exhaust is farting and dieing as the kid floors it down the road......... i took off normally and just watched him, as he finished his vulgar display of power (which reminded me of the special olympics) he had put a whole two cars on me........... keep in mind jeeta w/ circuit city exhaust vs srt not doing anything. this idiotice display of ................. speed? or trying to speed angered me somewhat. how retarded do you have to be to think a jetta is fast, and that putting an exhaust you were able to buy with a cd from the same store would produce any power gains? let alone make some 17 second, i just turned 16 and my daddy got me a car so i could be more of a whore, car, become a 13 second car? why the fuck do these people think going to pepboys and buying airfreshners that are liscensed from the fast and the furious actually give you horsepower............ idiots.

My second complaint is with the old model civic owners. WTF ARE YOU PEOPLE THINKING?! NO your car is not fast, NO! bad ricer bad! *smack with newspaper* BAD!
look its simple, there are fast civics out there, do you own one? no. no you do not. you own a 1988 tissue box on wheels. no matter how much your hat is turned and slanted it will not change the fact that a triple digit hp number will never be achieved from you car. sure some people may say im not the biggest honda fan.............. but im sure even the honda lovers can agree with me that morons like this are bringing the gene pool down a few chromazones. i noticed a car like this yesterday. as i was driving down the bypass i notice this horrible sounding......... civic, blarring down the road with this white kid with his hat slapped to the side and two bitches in the mini minivan with him. i see the infamous pepboys power adders all over his "whip" which include, a drift style muffler on a long side exhaust (which means the pipe comes from the passenger side, the muffler extends across the rear to the drivers side where the 1 inch tip is at) but he decides, let me take off my muffler and just put on a drift style muffler so its pointing RIGHT AT MY TIRE. its not even pointing out the back of the car............ thats my first indication that uncle ben might be driving the car. then i get closer and boom. like a wall of bricks it hits me, three spoke rims. damn. this kids a player if i ever saw one. its at this point he notices me and drops a gear and goes into thug mode, which involved turning on his pepboys "road warrior" sound system and making 50 cent sound like rick james. shit. well if i wasnt impressed before, i sure as fuck am now. of course the wifes laughing her ass off yet again. then the kid does it. he floors it. not that he goes anywhere, but you could at least here it as the exhaust tries to push the air through his wheel spokes like an old man trying to push a hardened turd into his "depends" diaper. i decide to blip the throttle. boom. three cars on the kid. this however does not deter him. heres a tip, do not try and race a car that does a 0-60 in the time it takes your car to go 55mph to 60 mph. this kid was flooring it and i swear it must of taken him close to 15 seconds to reach 60 mph next to me. but when he did, the look of satisfaction was almost too priceless, until i needed to get over and just blew him away.

the moral of this weeks story is: if your cars not fast, no matter how much you try and live in denial, reality will always make you its bitch.
 

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:jester: :jester: :jester: :jester: :jester: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :thumbsup:
If we met in person, we'd get along just fine...
 

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i make a quick left and go towards the shopping centers when i stop at a light and next to me is this kid in what looked like an 02 stock jetta. but wait, he had a $10 ractive exhaust *in awe* that he wants to rev at me like its building up power or something. the wife asks me if i hit an animal and i tell her the jetta next to me is revving it. she looks over and starts laughing as do i when i notice the kids girlfriend with her hands over her face in embarrassement. i felt her pain.
Words can not express how funny that is.
 

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2,162 Posts
That was truely entertaining... How true about the pep boy mods. If I had a dollar for every punk kid in my hometown with fart can and a gay wing on his cav, or geo etc.. I would be a rich man. I wish the fast and furious movies would have been X rated.
 
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