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Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
largest country in the world, California;

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
California's third language;

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops &

Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped;

Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million;

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory
of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and

Iraq still closed off, physicists estimate it will take at least
ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels;

Castro finally dies at age 112;

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only;

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss;

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative;

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants;

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches;

Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows
so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed;

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036;

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political
contributions to campaign accounts;

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

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