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Discussion Starter #1
Please provide us with a nice story of something that happenned at your work place that was funny/weird/entertaining. Please try to keep the language work safe.

My story:

A co worker and i were BS-ing as we waited for customers on a saturday afternoon. All three of us (2 service advisors and myself) and one was telling the other about a Ms Jackson that just happened to be pretty hot. I wont go into details as to what was said but the last few words that came out were *singing* "Im sorry ms jackson woooo i am for real...let me take you home and do you down...". We all were laughing our asses off cause they are both white im dark skin hispanic but the joke was mutually understood. So we continue BS-ing but the one dude would not let miss jackson go so he started signing the lyrics to that Outkast song. *phone rings* "...i am for real let me take you home..*he answers call as hes finishing what hes saying* and do you......"*he stops* "Hello.." *long pause with a face of shock*"Well hello Ms Jackson :? ..." *stuttering for the rest of the convo* :lol: the look on his face...PRICELESS :shock: :lol: 8)
 

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On Thursday when I went to work, I forgot to turn the lights on and after about an hour of no customers someone drove up to the drive through and asked if we were open. I guess that's the last time I'm in charge of turning on the Golden Arches.... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

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lol...i was previously employed by Best Buy....well the one in our area is like 12th in the nation or some shit like that...we are a pretty big Best Buy...so anyway...i was just working customer service...and a mentally retarted guy comes in. Well i've seen him before and he says hi and knows my name and all that good stuff. Well there was a pretty hot woman in my department....and he noticed as well...he walked by her and grabbed her ass...i was amazed...but the best part was...on his second pass he grabbed her and shoved his tounge down her throat...just started making out w/ her...well she was shocked and so was i...it was late so not many people were there...well needless to say...this lady comes up to me and tells me to remove him from the store...well i cant physically touch a person...so i go up and ask him to please leave...he bitch smacks me and runs over to the petrified woman and slaps her in the ass....then dashes out of the store... It was amazing!!! The funniest thing i've ever seen.


**::note::** not degrading mentally handicapped people in any way...

but seriously...this was sooo funny!
 

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Haha! Thats hilarious!

My girlfriend was on a field trip for one of her psych classes to some home for the mentally challenged or something. When she walked in, this particularly large downs syndrome gets this huge grin on his face and runs up to here yelling 'yeeaaahhh'. He puts his arms around here and won't let go and keeps saying 'she's mine! she's mine!'. A few minutes later he sees one of his caretakers and says 'go get it! i want to show her!'. The guy comes back with his Special Olympics medal and gives it to my girlfriends new friend. With this im a badass look on his face he says 'Im a ruuunnner'.

I guess even downs syndrome kids think my girlfriend is hot.

Any of you ever seen that comedian that says he faked being a retard and competed in the Special Olympics? He says after he won and was on the podium they found out he was a fake because he turned to the 2nd place finisher who was chewing on his medal and said 'Hey Corky! Its not chocolate!'

Anyways, sorry to get off topic.
 

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Just for the record, I'm 'chris2wire'

chris2wire: how old are you again?
sab33r: 21
sab33r: u?
chris2wire: 20 next month
chris2wire: no wait
chris2wire: yeah
chris2wire: next month
chris2wire: forgot it was april
chris2wire: i need to lay off the drinks at work
sab33r: hahaha
sab33r: you get drunk at work
chris2wire: tonight i am
chris2wire: <-- company lush
sab33r: hahahah
sab33r: they let you drink at work?!
chris2wire: well........
chris2wire: im gonna say no
sab33r: hahahaha
 

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I'm also ½Sanity Lost

-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: one more hour
Draco: heheh
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: christ
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: hopefully i wont die between then and now
Draco: if you do can I have your x-box?
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: yes
Draco: w0000!
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: you can have my car oo
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: too
Draco: All not working and stuff
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: oh, itll fire up now
Draco: heh, for how long?
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: it wont have a problem until you really step on it
Draco: ehehe
Draco: did you get that one DOA video?
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: yeah, its just the game intro
Draco: hmm you didn't get the one with all the girls?
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: it said hi res intro trailer
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: or something like that
Draco: hmmm
Draco: and it wasn't FMV's of all girls?
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: it was FMV of all the girls
Draco: oh oaky
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: it is the game intro3
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: no 3
Draco: Heheh
Draco: I don't care what it is
Draco: there was much bouncing
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: hahahahahaha, im not caring much either
Draco: DracMtt: hmm what game? DOA Extreme Beach Volley Ball or Mechassault??
Bryony44: volleyball
DracMtt: Heheh. Okay.
DracMtt: Have you seen the game? or Previews for it?
Bryony44: i prefer games without the word assault in them
Bryony44: nope
DracMtt: Ahahahahah
Bryony44: oh wait
Bryony44: is that that horrible game with the naked girls?
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: hahahahahaha
Draco: DracMtt: So do you wish to retract your previous statement?
DracMtt: It's a good volley ball game....heehee
Bryony44: no, i'd still rather you played that than killed people
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: what the fuck? is this guy a pacifist or something?
Draco: She.
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: pppbbhhhttt, some excuse
Draco: Eh, it explains a lot though.
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: not in our time and age
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: tell her to join the 21st century
Draco: hahah I'd like to keep this one as a friend.
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: bah
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: give her a link to a doa picture and hid it
Draco: lol
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: Http://www.happyfungame.com
Draco: ROFL
Draco: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAH
Draco: don't work
Draco: I don't know how to hide it anyhow
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: http://www.happyfungames.com
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: dont click on that
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: its gaymansex.com
Draco: HEH too late
Draco: but it didn't work
Draco: thankfully
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: hahahahaha
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: that would owned ya
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: wtf??? i click on it and its a real link
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: ack
Draco: AHAHA 0wned!!
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: a fuck, ive been defiled
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: fuck you
Draco: ahahahahaha
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: http://www.imgonnakickyourfuckingass.com
Draco: ahahahahahah
-= ½ §åñít¥ £ó§t =-: damnit damnit damnit
 

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I'm chris2wire again :p

spooledcivic95: are there any hot new shics
chris2wire: kinda
spooledcivic95: sorry menat chics
chris2wire: im gonna get you a typing program for xmas do0d
spooledcivic95: fuck off man
spooledcivic95: sorry meant chicks
spooledcivic95: is that better
chris2wire: much better
spooledcivic95: sorry brotha
spooledcivic95: So did nick leave yet?
chris2wire: dave said they mailed your last check to you
spooledcivic95: right
spooledcivic95: My Anus
spooledcivic95: Mailed it today?
chris2wire: mailed it yesterday
chris2wire: via snail mail\
spooledcivic95: Fuckin a
spooledcivic95: U sure its not in the labels
spooledcivic95: cause I dont wann have to call the where the fuck is my last paycheck heepl desk
spooledcivic95: damnit I meant Help desk
chris2wire: hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
spooledcivic95: Fuck fuck fuck
spooledcivic95: I think they are jerking me around
spooledcivic95: If I call or stop by they'll be like u need to wait 2weeks and if u haven't received them by that time call them and they will resend another one........
spooledcivic95: or it will go out next Friday.........
chris2wire: 'where the fuck is my last paycheck help desk. how may i assis you today?'
chris2wire: 'WHERE THE FUCK IS MY LAST PAYCHECK!'
spooledcivic95: God damnit I want to talk to your fuckin suporvisor... this is unacceptable
spooledcivic95: that'll be me right
chris2wire: 'Im sorry sir but it looks to me that you still work there. I cannot help you as this isnt your last paycheck'
chris2wire: bahaahahahahahahah
chris2wire: you got own3d
spooledcivic95: and Dave A will pick up and promise to drop it off at my home tonight and I'll wait like 2 days and call back
spooledcivic95: and they'll tell me Dave hasn't even left yet......
spooledcivic95: fuck u asshole
chris2wire: feel the love
chris2wire: what is that check supposed to be? 50 bones?
spooledcivic95: Hey I'm gonna take a nap I'll be online laters if ur gonna drop by tonight just give me a holla
spooledcivic95: like 9 hrs after taxes 50-60ish
chris2wire: i say cut your loses
 

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This is my favorite by far.

I was talking to a friend online who has chat functions on his cell phone.

===================================================

chris2wire: hey cell phone boy
doc16sixty5: Sup
doc16sixty5: Now i can dual off at work too.
doc16sixty5: Fuck
chris2wire: hehehe, that came out of nowhere
doc16sixty5: Thats how that intellisense works
chris2wire: random profanity? im sure your mother would love htat
doc16sixty5: No. The phone thought I meant dual when I meant fuck. Same keys dood.
chris2wire: That might get you into a wee bit of trouble, dont you think?
chris2wire: i wonder what this might look like if you were drunk and chatting on a cell phone
doc16sixty5: Ill type some cuss words without changing the suspected words.
doc16sixty5: App
doc16sixty5: Shiv
doc16sixty5: Econ
chris2wire: econ?
doc16sixty5: Dual
chris2wire: dual = fuck
doc16sixty5: Chuci
doc16sixty5: Mighds
chris2wire: ok ok ok, translate your cellphone jibbirish for me
doc16sixty5: App is ass
doc16sixty5: Econ is damn
doc16sixty5: Chuci is bitch
doc16sixty5: Mighds is ****** and that one you have to edit twice!
chris2wire: i think i like mighds better
chris2wire: i think it best that you leave your cell phone at home during diplomatic missions
doc16sixty5: Hey! Diplomatic immunity!
chris2wire: at least the thing doesnt try and fix your grammer
doc16sixty5: True that would be some phone!
 

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Black_Rain said:
lol...i was previously employed by Best Buy....well the one in our area is like 12th in the nation or some shit like that...we are a pretty big Best Buy...so anyway...i was just working customer service...and a mentally retarted guy comes in. Well i've seen him before and he says hi and knows my name and all that good stuff. Well there was a pretty hot woman in my department....and he noticed as well...he walked by her and grabbed her ass...i was amazed...but the best part was...on his second pass he grabbed her and shoved his tounge down her throat...just started making out w/ her...well she was shocked and so was i...it was late so not many people were there...well needless to say...this lady comes up to me and tells me to remove him from the store...well i cant physically touch a person...so i go up and ask him to please leave...he bitch smacks me and runs over to the petrified woman and slaps her in the ass....then dashes out of the store... It was amazing!!! The funniest thing i've ever seen.


**::note::** not degrading mentally handicapped people in any way...

but seriously...this was sooo funny!

ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

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Discussion Starter #10
hey i used to work for Best Buy too but i wont get into those stories...actually:

One day at about 12 noon on a Saturday i was alone in my Dept and i noticed a good sized crowd in the CarFi dept but no one around. Well they have a few HD type decks with songs loaded onto them. Im sitting there checking my Green Screen when i hear "My neck , my Back lick my pussy and my crack..." :shock: i was like ok big deal...then i realized "hey its 12 noon and the store is open...oh sh*t!!!" i made a dash for that deck when i came around the corner i nearly tackled the Carfi dude who was across the store and heard it too i mean it was loud. When he and i both got there all the customers were in shock at what they had just heard and to make matters worse everyone was white except me and the CarFi dude LMAO :shock: :lol: 8)
 

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Okay this didn't happen to me but I saw the video tape so I know it to be true.

Approximately 2am at Kinkos a homless guy had been herassing customers for change and using profanity and talking to himself outside a Kinkos. The guy was either drunk or on crack cause he was out of it. He walks up to the counter and asks the guy behind the counter for a pair of sissors ( I would have been worried about being stabbed but he gave the homless guy the sissors) The homless guy reaches into his pants and proceeds to cut the elastic from his underwear, after snipping both sides he sets the sissors down and digs deep with both hands and pulls is underwear off. He then slams his recently freed and oppressed underwear on the counter which would have not been that bad if it had not been full and got all over the counter and the nice cashier who handed him the sissors.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
chubz said:
Okay this didn't happen to me but I saw the video tape so I know it to be true.

Approximately 2am at Kinkos a homless guy had been herassing customers for change and using profanity and talking to himself outside a Kinkos. The guy was either drunk or on crack cause he was out of it. He walks up to the counter and asks the guy behind the counter for a pair of sissors ( I would have been worried about being stabbed but he gave the homless guy the sissors) The homless guy reaches into his pants and proceeds to cut the elastic from his underwear, after snipping both sides he sets the sissors down and digs deep with both hands and pulls is underwear off. He then slams his recently freed and oppressed underwear on the counter which would have not been that bad if it had not been full and got all over the counter and the nice cashier who handed him the sissors.
SICK!
 

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I am trying to pull back into myy memory bank all the funny shit that has happened in my jobs there are so many ones that you "Had to be there to believe" kinda things.

I did meet a celebrity which I thought was kinda funny. I use to work at Furrs Cafeteria in Oceanside Ca. when I was maybe 16 (first job) one day almost towards the evening a huge line of white woman came rollin in (looked like hookers) with a lot of black guys (tall and buff, bodyguards) and a kinda older ugly guy towards the back with a white woman on him. So we go through the rounds of serving all these people (I worked with a bunch of old vietnamese woman) who were very excited. So after serving these folks I leaned over to my boss who had a big bend me over and screw me in the pie hole shit eating grin on his face and said "Who the hell was that" he looks at me and says "YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS?", I said "No ya pudgy bastard who is it?" "That's IKE TURNER (Tina Turners old pimp). I proceed to laugh so hard I almost crapped my pants.

Almost 2 years later I was an Assitant Manager to a shoe store and one day guess who walks in Mr. Turner once again with the same white woman wearing his Versaci bomber jacket pickin up some Jordans.

Lastly and this is the kicker almost a year after that encounter I am workin at Kinkos (until I found a real job) I am workin the mid shift and I see this white woman come in who looks really familiar she comes up to me and asks if I have a dolly I said no but I will help you carry what u need. She said that would be great. So I follow her outside to see her parked backwards in her truck in the back was atleast 10 boxes filled with files. She spent nearly 7 hours there with her two friends copying EVERYTHING she spent close to 600.00 coping shit herself. I happen to glance at one of the boxes as I helped her carry it out...it was all of IKE TURNERS shit. She was gunna divorce his ass and take everything HAHAHAHAHA.
 
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