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Old 09-15-2009, 08:47 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default The official "Don't Move To Alaska" thread

I can't find any way to express my opinion about this situation other than this. You may think, "Ooh, the last frontier" or, "Hey you get paid to live there!"

If you are thinking of moving here and you rely on buying things off the internet or any offsite location at all, don't. Instead of moving, you should just take a the nearest writing utencil you see and stab it into your temple as hard as you can. Because it's just as rewarding to live here as it is to use your bodies orifices as pencil sharpeners. Buying anything from the lower 48, hell even other countries, costs almost literally an arm and a leg.

I wanted to buy some MB Drifter rims. A set of four for 500 dollars. I type in my zip code and get a shipping quote. 280 dollars. Shipping costs more than half the total cost of the item I'm getting. I type in a random AZ zipcode, an OR zipcode, a TX zipcode...FREE. That's right, free.

I want to get a nice carbon fiber hood, the one with the side vents on it. Damn near 900 dollars for the hood. What is shipping for it? 350 dollars on average. To most the lower 48, it's about 50 at most.

I find a rare item I've been looking for on ebay, at a killer price. I get ready to punch that "buy it now!" button, and what do I see? "Continental US only" Then the ultimate slap to the face is when you see this BS, "Continental US and HI only" So they'd rather ship to an island in the Pacific than a state that's only a 3 hour flight from oregon?! I've even seen "Continental US, HI, and Puerto Rico only" ...seriously...

I've even had a case where I bought a DVD box set. 6 CDs in a single case no more than an inch thick and 1 pound. Shipping? 22 dollars for a 5-7 day delivery. The DVD cost 30 dollars.

Not to mention the lack of competition between companies up here raises prices ridiculously. That and the fact everything has to be shipped here. A used car costs easily 40% more, a paint job costs twice as much, auto parts are more. Housing!! My god it's like 900 a month for a one bedroom apartment. I'm living in a tiny two bedroom 1 bath apartment in a multiplex full of noisy college undergrads, it costs 1090 a month not including utilities and electric...and that's a GOOD DEAL?!


Long story short, the only thing keeping me here is friends, family, and a decent paying job with decent benefits. This is a vacation state, I encourage you to come see it IN THE SUMMER. But guess what, rental cars are expensive too! I'm at work right now (I work at Dollar/Thrifty Rental Car at the airport), let me get you a quote for a two week rental for midsize SUV in the summer...

TOTALS:
2307.34 SUBTOTAL
592.86 TAX TOTAL
2900.20 TOTAL BILL

2900 dollars gets you a mildly abused and possibly smelly Dodge Nitro for 14 days.

I think I've said enough, my work here is done!
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Old 09-15-2009, 08:56 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Build your own rims, out of rock. You are a frontierman now, so start acting like one!! QUIT COMPLAINING! You shouldn't even have a car, you should be riding a grizzly bear to work.
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Old 09-15-2009, 09:07 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote: Originally Posted by RTShadow View Post
Build your own rims, out of rock. You are a frontierman now, so start acting like one!! QUIT COMPLAINING! You shouldn't even have a car, you should be riding a grizzly bear to work.

My sled is in the shop right now but my sled dogs are eager to drive me to and from my igloo every day. I wish I could afford a polar bear. I hear they have like 5 horsepower!
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Old 09-15-2009, 09:14 PM   #4 (permalink)
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hahahahah, look out for penguins, they are VICIOUS
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Old 09-15-2009, 09:50 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Don't forget Winter brings 24-hour darkness to only the part of Alaska above the Arctic Circle. Which does wonders for your psyche.
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Old 09-15-2009, 09:56 PM   #6 (permalink)
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vampires. Beware of them.
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Old 09-15-2009, 09:58 PM   #7 (permalink)
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This thread is BS. You have Mooses Tooth Pizza, and they have the Santas little helper, which is THE SINGLE BEST PIZZA KNOWN TO MAN, so stop complaining... Oh, and the ass at Chilcoots used to be pretty good too. Eskimo pussy FTW!
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Old 09-16-2009, 04:30 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote: Originally Posted by hercfe View Post
This thread is BS. You have Mooses Tooth Pizza, and they have the Santas little helper, which is THE SINGLE BEST PIZZA KNOWN TO MAN, so stop complaining... Oh, and the ass at Chilcoots used to be pretty good too. Eskimo pussy FTW!

Lol, I haven't had that pizza before. tried a few Mooses tooth ones and they are alright. I'm a cheese and cheese and more cheese pizza guy so I dont really give a damn what goes on it. As far as the cooters at coots, I just turned 21 and never get a chance to get out so I haven't seen much. been there twice so far. I dunno bout eskimo pussy though XD
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Old 09-16-2009, 04:31 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote: Originally Posted by starvin View Post
Don't forget Winter brings 24-hour darkness to only the part of Alaska above the Arctic Circle. Which does wonders for your psyche.

Even the daylight in anchorage is killer for me. I'm a solar powered nocturnal person..and I work from 4pm to 2 AM. I NEVER see the sunlight for more than 30 minutes a day in the winter.
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Old 09-16-2009, 04:34 AM   #10 (permalink)
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thats ridiculous ... thats why i think america should give alaska back to russia

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Old 09-16-2009, 09:51 AM   #11 (permalink)
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and i guess it is fucking cold over there and you will never see some nice bikini chicks downtown?
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Old 09-16-2009, 01:37 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Dude you live in Anchorage. Try living in Edna Bay. Look it up. Trust me. You have it soooooooooo much better than I did. It was the worst 114 days of my life. Yes I know exactly how many days I was there. It was horrible. Extremely horrible. We had to have our groceries FLOWN IN ON A FUCKING SEAPLANE!!!! I don't even like talking about it. So suck it up.
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Old 09-16-2009, 03:25 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote: Originally Posted by ENapa View Post
Dude you live in Anchorage. Try living in Edna Bay. Look it up. Trust me. You have it soooooooooo much better than I did. It was the worst 114 days of my life. Yes I know exactly how many days I was there. It was horrible. Extremely horrible. We had to have our groceries FLOWN IN ON A FUCKING SEAPLANE!!!! I don't even like talking about it. So suck it up.

LMFAO I just wikipedia'ed that city. Just wow...why were you there?
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Old 09-16-2009, 06:26 PM   #14 (permalink)
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A friend of mine took an Alaskan cruise with his wife and he said they had an awesome time!
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Old 09-16-2009, 09:35 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote: Originally Posted by ENapa View Post
Dude you live in Anchorage. Try living in Edna Bay. Look it up. Trust me. You have it soooooooooo much better than I did. It was the worst 114 days of my life. Yes I know exactly how many days I was there. It was horrible. Extremely horrible. We had to have our groceries FLOWN IN ON A FUCKING SEAPLANE!!!! I don't even like talking about it. So suck it up.

i was stuck in barrow last december for a few hours trying to fix a broke ass airplane. tell me about suck. -54 F in the sun. thats the top of the world, literally.
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