When Grandma goes to court...
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'
Logic
Two farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar drinking beer.
Jim turns to Bob and says, 'You know, I'm tired of going through life
without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College
and sign up for some classes.'
Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes
down to the college and meets dean of admissions, who signs him up
for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.
'Logic?' Jim says. 'What's that?'
The dean says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?'
'Yeah.'
'Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you
would have a yard.'
'That's true, I do have a yard.'
'I'm not done,' the dean says. 'Because you have a yard, I think logically that
you would have a house.'
'Yes, I do have a house.'
'And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.'
'Yes, I have a family.'
'I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a
wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you're likely a
heterosexual.'
'I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that
because I have a weed eater.'
Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to
go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed
up for Math, English, History, and Logic.
'Logic?' Bob says, 'What's that?'
Jim says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?'
> Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
>
> Do you suffer from shyness?
>
> Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
>
> If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.
Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a
regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.
Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
i doubt its a true unmolested stock turbo, and if it is then he is truely retarded....
you sir are truely retarded for thinking you know what your talking about without the facts. people like you are the exact reason why i have the setup i do. No i havnt dyno'd it yet, no i have not had it to the track yet. i just got it done not too long ago. But i am very happy with it.
you sir are truely retarded for thinking you know what your talking about without the facts. people like you are the exact reason why i have the setup i do. No i havnt dyno'd it yet, no i have not had it to the track yet. i just got it done not too long ago. But i am very happy with it.
I dont see the point in spending thousands to build a perfectly good motor for a extra .2 liters of dipslacement? To furth bullet proof a bullet proof motor? Just seems redundant and makes no sense to me at all unless you plan on eventually boosting the crap out of it with a bigger turbo.just my opinion you dont have to cry about it.
__________________
Quote: Originally Posted by JPG
My boyfriend wanted a hand-job but i couldn't get a good grip because he had a chode.
If i could have built and stroked motor for free or next to nothing id say yes but if i was paying it would be far from being the first in the proccess of building a nice setup.
ok, to be more civil, i do plan on putting a bigger turbo on it, just haven't decided which one yet. I like the 2.6 with the stock turbo cuz the spool is nice for AutoX. I wont be putting a HUGE turbo on, since my car is more being built for autoX, but whatever i decide to use, the 2.6 moves enough air to really make a difference in spool time. Thats my reasoning for building the motor on the stock turbo.
The AutoGuide.com network consists of the largest network of enthusiast-owned enthusiast-operated automotive communities.
AutoGuide.com provides the latest car reviews, auto show coverage, new car prices, and automotive news. The AutoGuide network operates more than 100 automotive forums where our users consult peers for shopping information and advice, and share opinions as a community.
Linear Mode
